You know the term "taking a gap year"? They're most common directly after high school or college--where people take a year to do their hearts desire and see where that leads them, to organize the chaos that's running through their head, or just run from a bad breakup. This last year for me has been what I like to call "a year of limbo". It has neither been solid and defining nor has it been utterly useless in the timeline of 'Virginia's Life' (not nearly as bad as 'the twilight saga...well, saga' of 2009--that was a bad one in which I would happily erase). Instead of being anything of grand use or privy, it has just been being here. Here. Where is "here" when you have a job that takes you everywhere? My thoughts are literally in clouds all day long, I'm gone from home 90% of the time, I have no rhythm, no weekly--heck, even daily routines. To be completely honest, some days I have no more idea of what I'm doing with my life than a flying monkey does. While we're being honest, some days, in my uniform I feel as strange as a flying monkey in my get up--shhhhh, don't tell anyone! I mean, what isn't natural about wearing a scarf tied securely around your neck for 10 hours a day? Right? This year, although may be 'a year of limbo' has taught me so much about where I stand, who I want to be and what I want to do. It's opened my eyes to a whole new industry, a new way of living, new people and more places at my fingertips than I could possibly imagine. My year of limbo has, obviously, contained a huge job and lifestyle change. Did I plan for that? No. Do I love this unplanned venture of mine? To be honest, love is a strong word, I love parts of it. This job has spectacular opportunities as well as it's charm in uniqueness. But is it what I see myself doing until I grow grey and old? Nope. Which, one month ago, if you had asked me that, I would have said, sure, I love it! Ya wanna know why? Because this job is, to some people, the end all be all. Because it is amazing, you travel, you feed your gypsy heart and you fly around the world for a living. The reason I would have said, of course I loved being a flight attendant, was out of pure guilt. Guilt that I didn't feel that way over such a spectacular job opportunity that so many want to be a part of. And here I am, who got it on a whim and am calling it my 'year of limbo'. It also may have been a bit about perception, do I want everyone to know that I'm not head over heels for this amazing new job? Not really. I want people to know the good, to see the passionate and compassionate aspects of my job. I don't want them to know that somedays it's like any other job, that you have to fight to like, you have to fight to be here. But, you know what I'm beginning to think? Is that maybe not every part of life has to be grand and dandy all 24 hours of all 365 days of the year...I know, I know, it's a hard concept to grasp, it took me a while too. It is an honor to work with the title flight attendant, it is an opportunity that not everyone gets to experience. But me, I know that what I want is out there, I know because I've tasted it before. For me though this is not forever, however, for this years strange (and still somewhat unknown) purpose, it was the plan for me to be up in the air--both literally and figuratively. It was, and still is, my first (of hopefully not too many in my lifetime) 'limbo years' and I'm happy to be here, wherever that is.