Happy 6 months of driving in the skies to me and twenty eight other people who have made it from my class.
The last four days I spent on a trip with a flight attendant who has been with our company for just over thirty years. Me? I'm twenty nine and a half shy of that, and went on the plane feeling like I have this job a few nothces under my belt finally. But then I worked with a wonderful human being who has just over twenty nine years on me and I quickly felt like an idiot for ever thinking I knew even a snippit of this job.
Just a friendly reminder that you are always learning, no matter what stage you're at. I have learned a few things in my 4,380 hours as a flight attendant. These are vital, very serious, not to be taken lightly, trade secrets of the lifestyle and work that I lead. Please do not read if you are not ready for your perception of the 'oh-so-glam' lifestyle we hold to be shattered. *remember, I warned you*
flu season doesn't exist, in a metal tube, every season is flu season
people are strange, but we serve them and love them anyway (they typically end up being the ones with the best stories!)
when in doubt, when grossed out, when angry, when frustrated, when utterly exhausted, always smile. eventually you'll meet the moment in the day that turns your whole day around and all is right with the world again.
don't pay rent. when you're first starting out, couch surf, live out of a suitcase, eat out of a lunch box, live the flight attendant life, while you're in it.
people will just willy nilly hand you their babies.
deodorant is never not a necessity. For us and for passengers.
if you thought dating was hard before, it's about 100x that as a person who is only in town a few times a month...I've found it nearly impossible, so have waved a white flag in surrender and gone steady with a bottle of wine and Netflix binges.
don't ever think you're above helping groom the plane and crossing seat belts. Ever. Cause, you're not.
be nice to the pilots, they have control of bumps and whether or not you make your flight home tonight.
When passengers want water, don't ask if they want ice, this leads to a five minute debate internally if they are 'feeling' it or not. Just give them the damn water, and they'll tell you if you serve it wrong.
not wearing shoes on a plane is gross, not wearing shoes to go to the bathroom on an airplane is just downright nasty.
unaccompanied minors are your favorite people on the whole earth, every time....even when they puke on you.
always check the temperature of the hotel fridge, unless you're into frozen salad and hard boiled eggs. Who knows, could be your kinda thing, you know, e-coli and all.
don't underestimate the power of crew scheduling. Even if you feel like you might not get called out, be ready. That's when they like to strike. Although, I would like to point out that I haven't been late for a two hour callout once, however I have forgot my underwear in the dryer and my cell phone in the fridge--neither of which is fun being without for multiple days at a time.
homemade food is beyond the best food on the whole entire planet. after you've eaten six months of plane food, you never take hot, homemade food for granted ever again.
coffee = functioning. (I mean let's be real, this has always been true for Virginia, but has never been more true than the last six months)
it's an inaugural moment, when you cry in your jumpseat.
when you go on a 4-5 day trip, that crew becomes your family.
Christmas in Redmond isn't fun.
lipstick makes people think that you haven't been up since 2am.
I will never be the graceful flight attendant that those I work with are. I salute all of you that are and that put up with my clumsiness.
you will go through a million-bajillion-zillion pairs of nylon tights, also what I refer to as the devils spawn of uniform pieces.
your hotel bed is the most magical and beautiful thing on this earth other than a flying unicorn.
I have learned so much more than what I've listed, but the essentials are covered. My life, the never ending roller coaster to learning 101, is always full of surprises. I'm glad I have a front row seat in the jumpseat for every take off and landing.